30 life lessons before turning 30

Mariah Carey once said, "I don’t have birthdays, I have anniversaries"—a quote that, on the surface, seems like classic diva speak. Yet, as I near the end of my twenties, I find myself reflecting on that sentiment more and more. The transition to thirty feels loaded with societal expectations, a looming deadline by which we're supposed to have life figured out. But why is turning thirty seen as such a daunting milestone?

We’re often taught that aging is a race against time—a sign that things are ending rather than beginning. We're encouraged to collect our achievements and milestones like ticking items off a to-do list: career, relationships, stability. Those who don’t follow this timeline are often seen as outliers, outcasts even, as if arriving late to the airport of life means you’ve missed the flight entirely.

But for me, aging has never been about ticking boxes. I’ve spent much of my life asking a single question: Who are you? And I’ve come to believe that life isn’t about creating oneself, but remembering who we already are. The process of finding our true self can be messy and long, and it’s easy to get caught in the trap of questioning not just our choices, but our very existence.

I’ll be honest—I’m someone who tends to bully myself with overthinking, questioning every decision, wondering if I’ve done enough, if I am enough. In this constant interrogation of myself, I’ve shifted from asking "Who am I?" to asking "Why am I here?" And that, I’ve realized, is where the real struggle begins.

My journey in life has been more than just a process of remembering who I am—it's also been about carrying both the gift and the weight of being an artist. There's a fire inside me, a relentless desire to share my vision with the world. Every time I engage with a song, a performance, a film, or a story, I realize that the finished version already exists within me. I don’t have to create it from scratch; I simply need to remember, explore, and discover the depths of my own abilities.

As a child, I never imagined I could dance, yet here I am, not only dancing but teaching others. As a young adult, I never believed I had the capacity to create music, yet now I stand before the world, presenting an entire album that I crafted from start to finish. In the darkest moments of my life, I never thought I would feel anything beyond that overwhelming shadow. But here I am, not just lighting up my own path, but illuminating the world around me with my light.

Life, to me, is like watching a favorite series unfold—each episode offering more clarity and depth to the story. While my instincts urge me to binge-watch the entire show in one sitting, I know there’s wisdom in patience. There’s no rush to fast-forward through the experience. I don’t fear growing older, and I don’t believe I’ve missed any opportunities. My life has been like driving along an unfamiliar highway, discovering new routes and thinking, "I didn’t know this way existed."

Each twist and turn has brought me to where I am today, embracing the unknown with curiosity rather than regret.

As I prepare to turn thirty, I want to share some of the most important lessons I’ve learned—lessons I wish I had known sooner. Here are thirty truths that shaped me before thirty:

1) Ask questions if something seems unclear.

At twelve, I was too scared to ask questions, unsure if the answers even existed. I wish someone had told me back then: Every question has value, and no question is stupid. This is a lesson I hope to pass on to anyone feeling lost in their self-discovery.

2) Friendships change, even the best ones. And some friends won’t match your intellect.

Your friends may feel like they’re meant to be in your life forever. But over time, you’ll outgrow some of them. Eventually, you’ll realize the most important friendship you can invest in is the one with yourself.Appreciate them for the qualities you do value.

3) Learn the value of money early. It’s okay to do something temporarily that’s not your ultimate goal.

I wish I had known that money won’t always be there. Start young, and find creative ways to earn it. Without money, your dreams can’t take shape in the world. You need money to survive. There’s no shame in that.

4) You’re not obligated to accept your family’s bad behavior. Boundaries are necessary, even with friends and partners.

Learn to show respect and demand it, even from family. Set boundaries, because no matter how old you get, your parents may struggle to respect them. Learning to say no is essential to protect your energy and mental well-being.

5) Academics don’t define your abilities.

I studied media, theatre, and American studies, but dropped out after three years. I realized the academic world wasn’t where I needed to be, and that’s okay. Create your own PhD in yourself.

6) Location doesn’t matter—happiness comes from within.

Even in the most luxurious setting, a bird in a cage is still caged.

7) Comparison kills joy.

Your path is unique, and comparing it to others only clouds your progress. But comparison is almost inevitable—learn to let it go.

8) Authenticity is your greatest power.

Being true to yourself, even when it’s difficult, will bring you closer to peace. It’s fine to be inspired by others, but always return to who you truly are.

9) Change is inevitable—accept it quickly.

Nothing stays the same. Learn to embrace change before it forces itself upon you.

10) It’s okay not to know, but it’s not okay not to learn.

You don’t need all the answers right now. Uncertainty is part of life, but bridge those gaps with knowledge.

11) If there’s a way in, there’s a way out.

That’s just human math. Even though I hate math.

12) Let failure motivate you—and let it happen often.

Failure is a part of growth. Feel the sadness, but then turn it into action.

13) Don’t share your ideas until they’re yours.

Jealousy is a natural human trait. Learn to accept it and protect your vision until it’s ready.

14) Don’t ask advice from people who share the same goal as you.

They’ll help you, but they’ll never want you to surpass them. And that’s okay.

15) Beauty is everywhere—broaden your perspective.

If you can’t see it, it’s because you’re not ready yet.

16) Your heart will get broken.

If it doesn’t, then you don’t have one.

17) Love can feel like an illusion—if so, love yourself first.

18) Seek perspectives outside your bubble.

Ask people what they want to hear or see. This will change how you view the world.

19) It’s okay to say, "I did that."

Don’t downplay your accomplishments. You worked hard for them. Own them, but remain gracious.

20) Find solace in believing.

Manifest your dreams and see them clearly in front of you.

21) It takes time—be patient.

You’ll question your goals and yourself. That’s part of the journey. If it’s in your mind, it’s already on its way to becoming real.

22) You’re not perfect, and someone will always be better than you.

But they can never be you. That’s your power.

23) You don’t have to keep everything and everyone in physical form.

Memories keep people and moments alive forever.

24) Your body will change, and so will your physical abilities.

Learn to adapt to these changes.

25) Live your 20s fully.

I didn’t. Take breaks, travel, go to parties, and be curious.

26) Your art will reveal itself when the time is right, not when you want it to. Always create—never stop.

I wrote songs at 16 that are only being shared now. Trust the timing of your creativity. Your power needs constant practice. Don’t overthink or wait for perfection. Just release it.

27) Humans can accept anything.

Given time, there’s nothing people can’t adapt to.

28) Having strong sexual energy doesn’t make you promiscuous—it makes you alive.

But be wise in how you express it.

29) Some wounds never heal. The same wound can bleed more than once.

But you’ll learn how to live with them.

30) You’ll remember childhood traumas in adulthood.

If you feel ready to face them, do it.

Looking back on my twenties, I realize the best gift I gave myself was permission to ask questions, to make mistakes, to grow at my own pace. As I step into my thirties, I no longer fear the unknown. I welcome it, knowing that life is less about having it all figured out and more about embracing the process of becoming—of remembering who I am.

And that, I believe, is something worth celebrating every year.